Dear Aaron and Hefza,

       I enjoyed reading your journal manuscripts and would like to provide feedback for each of you. Aaron, I really thought the question you were researching was very strong and clear for the audience to understand what you researched. What made it even stronger was adding the “who” part to it instead of just talking about women in Iran fighting for better roles in society. You mentioned specific women like Pasha and Taleghani who really contributed and motivated other women to take action for themselves. Overall, I believe your ideas flowed really well together and all the information connected back to your main point. However, one small issue I was having was trying to understand what social barriers exactly were these two women using to their advantage. Maybe you can be more specific with that but like again everything else was great and well organized. 

        Hefza, I believe your paper was well organized with your ideas and the evidence connecting to it. I liked how you used a variety of evidence such as films, documentaries, and readings rather than just focusing on the readings. However, a way you can improve this paper a little is by connecting specific laws to each film or documentary you talk about and also giving some context about the laws instead of jumping straight to your question in the beginning. Other than that, you made some very strong points and connected it back to your main topic. I also really liked how you stated questions in some paragraphs for the audience to ask themselves which really can keep them engaged and it kept me engaged to your writing.

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